When The Past Still Hurts

 

A reflection on love, past wounds and running away from ourselves.

Relationships are mirrors. People and experiences come into our lives to teach us about ourselves… And about love. Sometimes the lessons are easy sometimes they are painful.

After experiencing intense painful emotions, many decide to close their heart for fear of getting hurt again, running away from intimacy, using control, distraction and drama to keep people at a \”safe\” distance. In essence, when we do so, we refuse to keep growing, we get stuck in the past. As we run away from others, we run away from ourselves.

HEART TRUTH:

Your heart is stronger thank you think.

ELEVATION:

Whatever happened is an opportunity to learn about the art and purity of love, to refine who we are and become a better person. People don\’t hurt us, they show us where fear has a hold on us. And where we allow another person to be more important than our truth, desires and inner peace. They open a door for healing, realization, and growth. It\’s up to us to walk past this door or close it. It\’s our choice to see where we went out of alignment (away from who we are) and come back to ourselves. For instance, a man believes that love hurts and isn\’t safe because in his childhood, his dad was abusive to his mom. He will attract women who mirrors that belief and experience a lot of pain. Those women will have character treats that are abusive and he will mirror the abusive treats in other ways too. But also, he will mirror the low self/esteem and poor boundaries of his mom allowing others to take advantage of him.

His journey is to learn about boundaries, trust his brilliance and only accept people and experiences that honor him.

A woman who had a distant dad keep attracting men who are distant and she always has to work hard to get their attention and love. She\’s learning about self-worth, presence and true intimacy.

SELT-TRUST:

When we refuse to engage in love and intimacy whether it\’s with romantic partners, friends or family, it often comes down to: we don\’t trust ourselves to stay grounded, respect who we are and have our own back in relationships. We don\’t trust ourselves to nurture and heal ourselves if hurt and separation occur.

Assess your past and current relationships, where do you often feel taken advantage of, where do you feel resentment, where do you give to much beyond what feels comfortable to you. SPEAK UP: communicate your truth to yourself and others lovingly. The more you speak your truth, the more you will trust yourself and feel inner peace.

So if you are someone out there afraid of love and intimacy, building walls around you. My invitation to you would be to:

– ELEVATION, open the door again: rewrite the past stories and identify which lessons you haven\’t learnt, where are you still holding a victim position instead of looking at the mirrors and facing your own shadows

– SELT-TRUST, start being aware of how you are running away from yourself, not listening to your true desires, shutting down part of yourselves, using distractions, busyness or drama to avoid thinking, realizing and truly growing. Be there for yourself, all of your selves. What do you really want? Which fear is holding you back? Do you hold a sacred space for you and your emotions and dreams? Do you go after your dreams or have you given up? Do you have proper boundaries?