Who Are You (Not) To Be Brilliant, Talented, Gorgeous

In this post, I want to address something I have uncovered over the last 9 years styling women and transforming their wardrobe: sometimes women are afraid to embrace their radiance and shine. They desire a change, they know there is something truly magical about them but they are afraid.

Before we dive deeper into understanding this phenomena, I would like to share  my favorite quote by Marianne Williamson from A Return To Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won\’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. It\’s not just in some of us; it\’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.\”

Now, this set the tone for the conversation, right ;-)? So let\’s dive deeper…

Are you often afraid to shine? Do you play it safe?

Is treasuring yourself, expressing your creativity and bringing some fabulousness and fun in your wardrobe seems frivolous and pretentious?

Does loving beautiful things and dressing like you care feels like an act dictated by the ego?

The fear of being pretentious or frivolous

It\’s ok for us to have art in our house and appreciate beauty but somehow so many people think it\’s frivolous and pretentious to appreciate aesthetic and beauty in the way we dress. Why?

But really… Fashion is an art form, a way of appreciating beauty, nurturing your creativity and expressing who you are. Yes we do have obligations, responsibilities, to-do lists and career. Being an adult is a serious matter…  But there is more to life. Aesthetic, creativity, self-expression are essential for our balance. Fashion is not more frivolous than music or art. It is art. If fashion is pretentious and frivolous, so are art and music. The main difference is that style and clothes are more accessible for everyone to express their creativity. At any time, everyday. That simple.

Another behavior I\’ve noticed and find fascinating: moms are often spending so much money to dress their kids but when it comes to their own wardrobe, they feel bad about spending money. So if the child deserves a wardrobe that brings excitement to her/his day and makes the process of getting ready a pleasure, the mom does too. Right?

The fear of attracting attention (and receiving)

Very few people are completely comfortable with receiving compliments. I remember that time I got into an elevator and a woman was starring at me with her blue eyes. She said: “OMG! You are so beautiful!! Really?”. And she kept looking at me. I felt so uncomfortable and realized: I too still feel uncomfortable sometimes when I receive unexpected compliments. So what did I do? I chined up, graciously applied what I usually tell my clients and said “Thank you.”.

Why are we having a hard time receiving compliments? It should be simple, no? Or maybe somewhere deep down, we believe we do not deserve to be admired, seen? Maybe it comes down to self-worth and confidence.

Go shine my darling

Here is what I can tell you based on my 6-year experience as a stylist and after working with hundreds of women, owning and expressing how special and beautiful you are, whether it’s through your wardrobe or not, is an act of bravery that is necessary for your inner balance and serenity. It’s all about the worth, love and attention we give to ourselves. Everyday. So, please embrace and nurture your gorgeousness. And go shine.

Have you ever “shrinked (yourself) so that other don\’t feel insecure around you.”? Are you afraid to appear pretentious and frivolous when it comes to the way you dress? How do you cultivate your creativity and beauty in your life?

Please do share. Plus my challenge for you? Dare to wear something you wouldn\’t wear this weekend and just enjoy the fact that you dared something new and find a new way to stretch yourself.